When a Lie Seems Like the Only Answer….

I would have a hard time keeping a straight face if I saw a bride wearing this 2008 Angel Sanchez gown -- but when you're at a wedding that's not to your taste, you've still got to come up with something nice to say to the bride!

Remember a couple posts back when I gushed about how I loved, loved, loved Steph and Rob’s wedding pictures? Well, what happens when a wedding isn’t so . . . remotely appealing?

I poured over their pictures, in love with every last detail. In contrast, I just saw some photos from another 2010 wedding, and I hated nearly all of it. I thought the venue looked ill-set up; the color combo didn’t work; the bridesmaids’ dresses were unflattering in fit and style. Even the bride’s gown was — to my taste — incredibly unattractive.

As I had all those thoughts, I began feeling guilty for so disliking another bride’s dream day. Thank goodness, I thought, that I didn’t have to lie to that bride that her wedding was beautiful.

But what happens when you do attend a wedding that you think is less than lovely, or dignified, or hospitable? What do you say when you, inevitably, congratulate the bride and groom? Do you lie through your teeth — “Oh, sweetie, what a gorgeous wedding! You’re the prettiest bride ever, and I love the leopard spotted tablecloths!” — or do you say something noncommittal — “I’m so happy for you both. You must be walking on clouds!” Much as you don’t want to rain on someone else’s parade — it is their wedding, not yours, after all, and you have no business whatsoever telling any bride that you don’t like her arrangements! — if you truly dislike a wedding and you’re caught off guard, you might be at a loss for words when the bride pops by to say hello to your table.

Be prepared! Keep each friend’s personality in mind. Will she want you to ooh and aah over the details, or will she be just as happy if you simply tell her how much it means to you that you can be there to celebrate with her? See, there’s no one answer as to what you should say — just make sure you don’t say something you’ll regret!

(And don’t feel guilty for being relieved that your wedding doesn’t have to look like hers.)

~ Laura

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