Now, let me start off by saying all my friends have been incredibly sweet, appreciative, thoughtful brides. None have decked their bridesmaids out in mustard colored chiffon ballgowns. None have thrown a hissy fit during the rehearsal. None have called their grooms names on the big day.
A couple weeks ago, I interviewed Maya Kalman, owner and founder of SWANK Productionsin New York City. I asked her what stands out as memorable in her career as an event planner — and without hesitating, she said it’s the wonderful, kind brides that she and her staff gush over long after the wedding has ended. And on the flip side, Maya also can’t forget the menace brides who make life miserable.
“We’re in a service industry and we’re here to serve our clients, but the advent of reality shows, the advent of the Bridezilla shows, has taught people it’s okay to act badly: you’re not experiencing the full fun of your wedding unless someone acts badly,” she said.
“It’s not okay to treat people badly to get your way!”
Unfortunately, whether we want it to or not, there’s a good chance our inner diva/banshee/evil stepsister will make an appearance as we plan our weddings. Something will go wrong: the sister-in-law will push for her children be in the wedding party, or your bouquet will be ever so slightly more pink than purple.
Just remember the words of advice another event planner, Wendi Hroncich of Ethereal Events in Seattle, shared with me when I asked what she hopes guests will remember about each wedding they attend.
“The feeling they got . . . that it touched them, that they remember the groom’s lip quivering, or whatever it is that lets them know the couple is really in love,” Wendi said.
Keep that in mind whenever the stress of wedding planning beats a few dents into your satin and Swarovski armor. Your wedding day is all about being in love. It isn’t about the four-foot-high willow branch centerpieces, the hip DJ. It isn’t even about your designer dress. You want to remember your day as the loveliest of your life — which means making your love your priority, even when something goes awry. You also want your guests to remember your day as a beautiful, happy event and you as an elegant, graceful bride — not as a bridezilla freak showto mock online.
Years down the road, as you look through your wedding album with your husband, a blemish in your decor or a blip in your ceremony is something you’ll share a laugh over. A blemish or blip that led to a bridezilla-esque meltdown will leave a far more permanent stain on your memories of your wedding.